Lifeskills 101
These techniques work equally well with stress, depression, anxiety and anger management.
Almost everyone is stressed these days with the economy, crime, terrorism and just daily life. Effective life management requires certain lifeskills. The term lifeskills is a word used to reflect the tools needed in order to manage the stress inherent in change, illness, loss, overwork, divorce, and even daily life, etc. Lifeskills are practical, quick and effective strategies that can be used anytime to optimize performance and enjoyment both at work and play.
There are two types of stress patterns:
Type 1 - acute, situational, momentary- little to no residual effect.
Type 2 - chronic and prolonged which can be detrimental and even fatal.
Symptoms include:
* muscle tension, back pain and/or chronic headaches
*changes in breathing, rapid, shallow breathing, hyperventilation
*stress on virtually every organ in the body- the heart, kidneys, stomach, liver, adrenal glands, etc. due to elevated levels of cortisol & other bio-stressors
*increased activity in the brain can lead to poor mental focus & decision-making
*emotion-states like anxiety, depression, over-reacting, mood swings & chronic anger are present
*heartburn, irritable bowel syndrome, esophageal bleeding, chronic ulcers
*a weakened immune system, body unable to maintain its defenses and repairs
What can you do? Take charge of your life, stress is manageable,
stress-level is a choice. You don't have to play the debilitating stress game!
1. Breathing Exercises- a stress response activates the sympathetic nervous system to a fight, flight or freeze reaction. Conversely, the parasympathetic nervous system (relaxation response) is induced by a slow, deep breathing pattern. If you can control your breathing pattern then you can control your stress response. It's that easy to start. Breathing from the diaphragm, or 'belly' breathing is the most effective method.
2. Appreciation of Life- What we focus on grows, so when we focus on appreciation and the positive, our perception of reality changes. Keeping a daily gratitude journal is a good tool for shifting our focus and our moods. Each day take a few moments to ask yourself "What's going right in my life right now?" or "What, or who, do I really appreciate in my life today?" and write in your journal what comes to mind. Throughout the day, take a moment here and there to bring these items to mind with a sense of silent, sincere heartfelt thankfulness. Reading through your notes daily will have a positive, powerful and consistent effect. For example- stress makes your blood pressure rise. But, conversely, if you're thinking of a loved one, a beautiful place or a happy memory your blood pressure automatically lowers, in response to a thought.
That's because the body does not know the difference between a thought and an experience. So when we manage our thoughts our body responds.
3. Empowered Thought-Language- There is no such thing as an idle thought. The body's chemistry reflects and responds to our thought processes. Observe your thoughts and monitor your words from time to time throughout your day in order to get an accurate and representative sample. Are you using empowered thinking patterns or disempowered? 'possible' language or 'impossible'? Do you start your day by self-defeating thinking like, "I'll never get everything done today" or by affirming "There's enough time in my day to do what's truly important to do today". Do you find yourself using words like 'need', 'afraid' or asking 'unnecessary permission'. Examples, "I need to go to the post office later." Finding yourself answering a question with "I'm afraid not, I'm afraid so", what does fear have to do with your answer? Or, "Here, let me move this chair out of the way. We are giving our personal power away when we think and speak in disempowering terms. These are little ways, granted, but enough raindrops can wear down a mountain, and a deluge of disempowered thoughts will have their effect.
4. Defusing Body Tension- Just take some moments a few times during the day to scan your body for areas of tension build-up. You can use a method called 'tense to relax'. Starting at the feet (or head) tense and release muscle groups, working through the entire body in just 5 minutes or less. You'll notice the difference immediately.
5. Visualize Success- Success is no accident. We can usually accomplish what we can visualize. This can also be done, auditorily, in the form of the inner dialogue, but the process works the same. What we focus on mentally is the most likely scenario that will be manifested. When we focus on a negative internal dialogue we will stay stuck in disempowered thinking and behaviors. When we focus on the positive that is what begins to manifest.
6. Exercise- numerous obvious benefits include- releasing endorphins into the blood, increasing alpha-wave brain activity for greater mental focus,
improves energy level, supports cardio-vascular health, rids the body of toxins.
7. Meditation/Prayer/Self-hypnosis- Change your brainwave pattern! These tools have been used successfully to treat high blood pressure, heart disease, migraine headaches and autoimmune diseases such as diabetes and arthritis. These methods have also, proven effective in curtailing obsessive thinking, anxiety, depression, and chronic anger.
8. Loving and Accepting your Self- This is the most valuable tool in recovering from negative/destructive/disempowered lifestyle, or thoughtstyle. The one common thread that I have seen in nearly all of my clients, and negative people in general, is an underlying sense of self-loathing. People who cannot love themselves cannot love their life or other people in their life. When you 'beat yourself up' mentally, who are you treating that way? The person you are berating is a little seven-year old child inside of you. No wonder we stay stuck!
9. Forgiveness- This is a wonderfully powerful means of letting go. It doesn't mean that you condone what someone did to you, but it does mean that you are empowered to let go of their control in your life. Listen to the vast potential that lies in mere forgiveness-
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What could you want that forgiveness cannot give?
Do you want peace? Forgiveness offers it.
Do you want happiness, a quiet mind, a certainty of purpose
and a sense of worth and beauty that transcends the world?
Do you want care and safety, and the warmth of sure protection always?
Do you want a quietness that cannot be disturbed,
a gentleness that can never be hurt,
a deep, abiding comfort, and a rest so perfect it can never be upset?
All this forgiveness offers you.
-Accept This Gift (1983)
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10. Affirmations- What keeps you stuck in the old mindset? Repetitive, negative thoughts, usually in the form of an 'inner dialogue'. This is a naturally occurring form of affirmations, and we see how powerful it is. When the content is changed to the positive, the process works just as well, but now in your highest interest.
Say to yourself-
"I am willing to release the need to feel unworthy.
I am worthy of the very best in life, and
I now lovingly allow myself to accept it."
(L. Hay, 1984)
Repeat that to yourself 100 times a day and see what happens!
11. Valuing Peace- If you are willing to treasure your inner state of peacefulness above anything that happens today, you will be invincible. Be aware, moment by moment, of your own internal valuing system. It's the internal commerce system by which you 'gain or lose' throughout your day. There is nothing that a calm and quiet mind cannot accomplish, because it is not conflicted.
12. A Viable Spiritual Support System- God, Universe, Love, Light, Source, whatever is your meaningful understanding of the Infinite. Your spiritual support system is a wonderful, personal resource for empowerment, connectedness and change.
13. Friends- safe and supportive, conflict-free, positive, enjoyable social contact. Research shows that people who have a healthy social base tend to live longer with more productive lives. Joining groups, clubs, churches, etc. is a good way to share common interests, values and world-views.
14. Good Nutrition- your body can only function right if it's fed right I suggest the following nutritional structure as a guideline:
55-60% complex carbohydrates from whole grains, dried beans
15-20% vegetables, green and yellow varieties
10% meat- preferably seafood
10% salads and/or fruits
10% fats -preferably vegetable sources
Very low sugar intake, avoid artificial sweeteners such as aspartame (Equal,
SweetnLow) and Splenda (sucralose) which tend to increase overall sugar intake by as much as 30%. Note- aspartame breaks down to formaldehyde in your cells- yes, that's right- embalming fluid. Read the label, you may be surprised what it's in.
Sweeteners such as xylitol and stevia are preferable non-sugar substitutes.
15. Drink Water- drink pure, filtered water only when you're thirsty.
In fact, as Roger Mason states "the more you drink the less efficiently your kidneys operate. Kidneys, filter, absorb and diffuse, and thus should not be overloaded with water they don't want or need. Drinking too much liquids overworks your kidneys so they can't do what they are designed to do. When you take in too much water the cells close up and the unfiltered water is diverted to the large intestine in desperation. The water then goes to the bladder to be passed out without removing the toxins from your system. The toxins are therefore left in your body." (Zen Macrobiotics for Americans, pg. 71)
16. Pets (and Plants)- Giving and receiving love is a natural human capacity. Pets tend to be naturally therapeutic for people. Dogs are an excellent exercise motivator, always ready to go for a walk, and a soft, purring cat curled up next to you has a natural, sympathetic, calming effect on the human nervous system.
17. Take Time to Be with Nature- even if it's just sitting in your yard or watching a sunset from your patio. There is something that is naturally recharging about being in the energy of nature. If possible be near water or flowing water.
18. Value your Sense of Humor- it is priceless in maintaining a healthy emotional balance! Norman Cousins asserts that he healed his painful and chronc condition primarily through the power of laughter.
If I can be of service to you please call for a free consultation, at no obligation. I use an eclectic approach of effective thought and energy re-patterning techniques, in order to facilitate your highest good, in a safe, honoring and ecological context.
Dave Boyd- Ph.D., M.Div.,
M.S., M.R.S, CHT., NLP.,
Reiki & Quantum Touch Practitioner
Lighthouse Hypnosis, Newberg, OR
503-998-4703
Email me at lighthousehypnosis@hotmail.com
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